Pocket of Peace

It’s been a crazy week. It’s been a week of stress and anger and loss and so many other emotions. With the girls in the picture, every week also has a good dose of joy, but it’s easy to discount that as even their most joyful moments are sokinetic. Very little of what they do is passive in any way.

This week has been Emeline’s first week in a new situation. Instead of having someone come to our house to care for her, she is spending her work day with a stay-at-home mama and her little girl. It’s been wonderful, everything seems to be working out well. All that to say that I have a little bit of a drive in the mornings that I’ve not had for awhile. For those of you who may not know, from my house to my office is approximately a four minute drive. Nora’s school is a couple minutes further, but still on the edges of downtown. Emeline’s new sitter is probably closer to 10 minutes… Still not far, but to me it seems like forever!

It rained this morning. When I left the house, there was still a light mist falling and a bit of a hush over the world. I love the clean feeling after a light rain. Emeline and I got in the car and I put on the new Band of Horses acoustic album. After a bit, she started quietly singing along to the music in her adorable infant voice. I needed that moment of just pause and listen, that tiny little pocket of peace before the day began in earnest, to just let music and her tiny little voice wash over me.

I’ll marry my lover in a place to admire
I don’t have to even ask her I can look in her eyes
And thank God that I am forgiven
I thank all my friends
To say I’ve been truer or they forgotten

-Band of Horses, Marry Song

As I was hanging in my peaceful moment, something that happened this morning returned to me. Nora and I were brushing her hair (it apparently takes both of us), and were discussing her shirt. It is a shirt designed by a dear friend of mine for her own little company, Be Tees. I write this in hopes of snapping a decent picture of her wearing it to attach, but it is white and she is at school… So I’ve swiped a stock photo with permission. Here’s the shirt:

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Adorable and inspirational, right? Talented lady, that Jackie. Anyway, Nora was chattering about her shirt, pointing out the clouds and telling me they were sheep clouds because they’re fluffy, and talking about how big the mountain looks… Then this.

Me: Do you know what the shirt says? Would you like me to read it to you?Nora: Sure!
Me: It says, “Be Brave!” See the little person on top? That person climbed the whole mountain and is standing at the tippy top and that person is so proud!
Nora: Umm, mama? I’m not brave.
Me: Nora, you’re one of the bravest people I know!
Nora: Mommy, I’m just not brave enough.
Me: Brave enough for what?
Nora: Well, I’m not brave. I can’t climb a whole mountain!
Me: Hmm. Well, you might not be able to climb a whole mountain by yourself, but I bet if daddy helped you, you could climb all the way up something pretty tall, huh? That’s still pretty brave! Being brave doesn’t mean you can’t have the help of people who love you.
Nora: Yeah, okay! I’m brave! Let’s climb a mountain!
Me: Well, you have to go to school today, instead.

She teaches me. I love being her mom.

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About cultofezzell

Ben's wife, Nora and Emeline's mommy. Finding the joy in this crazy family life while battling rheumatoid arthritis.
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